Ten things I learnt from job interviews

1) Blend in as much as possible

The first interview I went to was in this place where my skin colour was extremely rare. It was quite a sight. All of them stopped and stared at me. I started regretting I didn't wear a fully covered loose fitting attire or baju kurung instead of my fashionable form-fitting (but decent, I assure you) blouse and slacks.

2) When in doubt, ladies should wear high heels and carry a handbag

One of the jobs I applied to was for the post of English language instructor. Now, thinking it was a post that didnt need too much dressing up, I wore a nice collared shirt, slacks, wore flat shoes and carried a sling bag. Flats were because I thought I had to do alot of walking to get to that interview place. The interviewer looked at me and asked "How old are you? you look like a school girl. I was shocked to see the shoes you were wearing." At the end of the interview, I shook his hands and he smiled. "And please la, get a handbag," he said.

3) Don't play with your tongue while being interviewed

So it was that I was subconsciously moving my tongue over my teeth in my mouth. And the interviewer said "you really shouldn't chew gum while being interviewed." I DEFIANTLY insisted I was NOT chewing gum but merely cleaning my teeth with my tongue. Heh.

The interviewer puckered up his face and frowned.

4) Be passionate. Enthusiastic. Even when you think it's the crappiest job in the world.

I remembered sitting in an interview and having the boss explained to me the intricacies of an editor's job in his company. Basically--editing corporate in house stuff, occasionally throwing in a few pictures and designs, proofreading, proofreading and more proofreading. And looking at the company's accounts to make sure the annual reports are all in order in THAT particular margin and template bla bla. Alright, I give the boss credit, he was really trying to make it interesting to me. But yet, he kept asking, "Is this what you wanna do? Do you like it?" to which I answered..."Uhm...yea...like...it's quite interesting...u know...uhm, I would love to see how it's done.." I've yet to get a call back haha. But seriously, I don't mind the job.

5) Bring a calculator when they say you have to sit for a 'test'. Regardless if the profession in mind will probably not require one at all.

I've had two tests for two different interviews so far. One was for an editing job and another was for a journalist position in an established newpaper company. The editing test was one and a half hours, it was alright. But the journalist's one was THREE and a HALF hours. And I had to use their calculator to interpret a pie chart. What the??!

6) Be mentally prepared for the worse.

First of all, I wasn't ready for the 3 and 1/2 hour journalist test. And I didn't expect them to make me read through a 20 page Prime Minister's speech given in a political General Assembly...in Malay (it was part of the test). I had to summarise the speech, heaven forbid. Then right after the test I skipped lunch and was interviewed by four people, from different departments in the company and the Human Resource people. Then I was told that my shoes were ugly and I needed a handbag in a different interview the next day.

7) Always be on the alert and say diplomatic things--you never know who you are talking to.

In between a test and an interview, I was waiting in a Human Resource office when this nice old chap sat next to me and asked me if I was there for the interview. He said he was an interviewee too. And he happily talked and asked me heaps of questions bout myself, my expectations and bla. When the editor turned up to interview me, she exclaimed "Oh look who is here to accompany you! The boss himself!"

8) Try to think before you speak.

The editor of a Sunday newspaper asked me if I was willing to work weekends occasionally. I said I don't mind Saturdays, but I do want to keep Sunday's free because I'm a Christian. "Do we have to work on Sundays?" I asked. She gave me a weird look. "Well, what do you think? Of course not, or we won't even have a Sunday paper to read!" she replied.

I quickly covered up my blunder by saying, "No, I meant wee hours of Sunday morning...."

9) Read. Sound intelligent even though you hardly know what you're truly saying.

I have been asked if I knew what corporate annual publications are. Whether I heard of the latest reality TV show. What are the latest developments in the nation's education scene. What sort of policies I could propose to the government on racial integration in schools. If I have ever heard of Etihad airlines.

Of course, the best question of them all was, "Can you dress well?"

10) Laugh at yourself.

And the whole world laughs with you. Even the interviewers.