Singing lessons

Breathe in. Breathe out. Not in your upper chest, fill your bottom part of your lungs! Use your diaphragm!!

The teacher goes over to the piano and hits a key. I breathe in (which feels like taking air into my stomach...and worse still, my tummy is making weird noises because it is empty. That's because I had diarrhea earlier but I'll spare you details) holding my lower stomach and sing "aaaaaaahhhh...". Another key. "Aaaahhhhh..."

No no. Think high.

Okay. I try to think high. "Aaaahhhhh....". I don't hear a difference but she seems satisfied. After a few more higher keys the teacher asks me to think low instead (whatever that means). So here I am concentrating and meditating on all things low.

Sit on the key. You know...just imagine you're sitting down. Push down. Here, put your hands up in the air and 'push' down when you sing. It helps you concentrate. Twist your head, relax those vocal chords.

So I shake my head from side to side like I'm in dissapproval, but its suppose to help me relax my vocal chords. I follow her and flap my hands up and down by my sides like a bird while singing 'aaaahhh'.

Pull it up to the front! *points at the side of nose*. See, right now you're singing from the back *points to back of head* and so it sounds airy. Bring it out, throw your voice out!

I frown in concentration. Breathe till my stomach expands, think low, sit on the key, flap hands up and down, sing from the 'front'. Got it. "AAaaaaaaaahhhhhh!"

Yes yes. That's better. So you shall practice this for the week ok? Do you want more singing lessons? That'll be RM100 per lesson thanks.

Gobbledygook; a nonsense word for wordy nonsense

I am in the state of irritation hitherto, descrying acrimoniously the disconcertingly unbearable excessive molecular vibration of the air. This situation is compounded by the absence of air movement, thereby facilitating the stagnation of warm air within confined spaces. At this moment hereof , such incondusive circumstances has resulted in mental incapacitation and disablement of rational thought processes in respect to processing input therefore producing the consequence of incomprehensible output. Hence the utilization of malapropitation and blunderbusses of yours truly to smear your conscience and while away that precious asset of yours called time.

Basically—the weather is so hot that my brains are fried which causes me to do stupid things like write about it and waste your time reading it.

Isn’t quite amazing how people write really superfluous stuff just to sound intelligent? I found this funny example, a parody of this issue. Consider;
Matt 16: 15-17
Jesus said unto them, “Who do you say that I am?”
Peter said, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”
And Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood hath not revealed this to you but my Father in heaven.”

Insert gobbledygook—
Jesus said unto them, “Who do you say that I am?”
They replied, “You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood revealed.”
And Jesus replied, “What?”

Songs of Solomon 8:6

Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm;
For love is as strong as death,
jealousy as cruel as the grave;
Its flames are flames of fire,
a most vehement flame.

A song, a poem, a verse--a mantra almost.

It hangs boldly above my bed
watching over my sleep through the night.
Beautiful words, pleasing to the eye
but I never asked how, I never asked why
and perhaps, never set seal upon my heart
until today.
I could not understand it, those potent words
arm. love. death. jealousy. grave. fire

Set me as a seal upon your heart....
His heart, the core, Him. My name upon His, His name upon mine. No height nor depth, nor memory nor guilt, demons or angels could ever change that.

a seal upon your arm....
Love to the point of slavery. Branded with fire upon the arm.

For love is as strong as death....
I deserved the punishment. It would mean I could not see Him forever. He could not bear the thought and stretched His arms- He would rather die. But now, all I can thank Him with is my life.

jealousy as cruel as the grave....
A dark grey day. A hill with 3 crosses. Via Dolorosa is a long and difficult road. It takes your life, just like it took His. It's either all or none.

It's flames are flames of fire, a most vehement flame...
It is warmth to a a cold lonely traveller. It burns impurities for the goldsmith. To early humans, and now still, it gives life.

It is passion. It is hope. It is necessary. It is powerful.
It is dangerous.
Love-
Suddenly...I understand it all.

Mundane discoveries

It is a gloomy day today. It seems that the sun is undecided about its role and position, appearing every five seconds. Perhaps it is fighting with the clouds for air space. I have been thus kept inside my room for most of the day wondering if the grumpy old woman Weather will stop pouring rain every half an hour and let up on me.

Ah. Melbourne, Melbourne, Melbourne. Why is its weather so fickle? Perhaps it is because there are so many races and nationalities that have come from many foreign lands with different weathers. Maybe we all carry some form of cosmic power and unconsciously release our innate energies to control the skies. Or could it be that we each have our own ideas about the perfect weather and pray to our own gods they might be fulfilled? If so, the tumult in the heavens would be the clash of the gods.

Alternatively, it could just be that it is because Melbourne is near the sea. Hmmm.

I love to reflect back on my childhood and reminisce about the simplicity of it all. Simple things are lovely. Sure, I may be in university, possibly the most prestigious one in Australia as some would like to argue. Yet, sometimes, I still think I’m a child at heart. I like to create my own theories of the world which might not be true, but it is fun all the same.

Did you know that you can confuse ants? I spotted a trail of ants once and imagined that there must be some sort of scent to mark their ‘pathway’. How else could they always keep the trail? So I rubbed off a section of their invisible highway with my fingers. True enough, the ants were confused once they reached that point, many turning back towards where they came from. It would not last long though. There was always a smarty pants that would persevere till the other end of the disconnected highway was found.

Or try shining a torch light on an ant. It would stop in a daze for a few seconds and then start running in random directions, usually away from the light. Flash the light in various positions and it would run around in circles. Conclusion? It is not advisable for ants to go clubbing.

When I was seven, I discovered that ants were perfectly edible. My friend and I had a competition, in which my four year old brother was included. Whoever ate the most ants off the floor would be the winner. I can assure you, it’s much safer than eating cow testicles and a bowl of maggots on Fear Factor.

And do you know that bath liquid kill cockroaches in less than five seconds? It is even more effective than spraying insecticide on them.
I can almost picture you frowning. Perhaps I should have stuck to ants. I shall just be satisfied to wonder about Melbourne’s fickle weather for now.