Singing lessons

Breathe in. Breathe out. Not in your upper chest, fill your bottom part of your lungs! Use your diaphragm!!

The teacher goes over to the piano and hits a key. I breathe in (which feels like taking air into my stomach...and worse still, my tummy is making weird noises because it is empty. That's because I had diarrhea earlier but I'll spare you details) holding my lower stomach and sing "aaaaaaahhhh...". Another key. "Aaaahhhhh..."

No no. Think high.

Okay. I try to think high. "Aaaahhhhh....". I don't hear a difference but she seems satisfied. After a few more higher keys the teacher asks me to think low instead (whatever that means). So here I am concentrating and meditating on all things low.

Sit on the key. You know...just imagine you're sitting down. Push down. Here, put your hands up in the air and 'push' down when you sing. It helps you concentrate. Twist your head, relax those vocal chords.

So I shake my head from side to side like I'm in dissapproval, but its suppose to help me relax my vocal chords. I follow her and flap my hands up and down by my sides like a bird while singing 'aaaahhh'.

Pull it up to the front! *points at the side of nose*. See, right now you're singing from the back *points to back of head* and so it sounds airy. Bring it out, throw your voice out!

I frown in concentration. Breathe till my stomach expands, think low, sit on the key, flap hands up and down, sing from the 'front'. Got it. "AAaaaaaaaahhhhhh!"

Yes yes. That's better. So you shall practice this for the week ok? Do you want more singing lessons? That'll be RM100 per lesson thanks.

Gobbledygook; a nonsense word for wordy nonsense

I am in the state of irritation hitherto, descrying acrimoniously the disconcertingly unbearable excessive molecular vibration of the air. This situation is compounded by the absence of air movement, thereby facilitating the stagnation of warm air within confined spaces. At this moment hereof , such incondusive circumstances has resulted in mental incapacitation and disablement of rational thought processes in respect to processing input therefore producing the consequence of incomprehensible output. Hence the utilization of malapropitation and blunderbusses of yours truly to smear your conscience and while away that precious asset of yours called time.

Basically—the weather is so hot that my brains are fried which causes me to do stupid things like write about it and waste your time reading it.

Isn’t quite amazing how people write really superfluous stuff just to sound intelligent? I found this funny example, a parody of this issue. Consider;
Matt 16: 15-17
Jesus said unto them, “Who do you say that I am?”
Peter said, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”
And Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood hath not revealed this to you but my Father in heaven.”

Insert gobbledygook—
Jesus said unto them, “Who do you say that I am?”
They replied, “You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood revealed.”
And Jesus replied, “What?”